NEWS FROM THE THERAPY ROOM. Tips and strategies that you can use in your own relationships. |
I was reading back over some notes I had saved about the sheer power that positivity can bring to our lives.- I was reminded again of the difference that can occur for us, when we become focused on actually being more positive. Most people I'm sure, will get the importance of aiming to increase their levels of positive thought. This can result in our lives becoming more satisfying, with accompanying levels of increased happiness, and so on. The ripple effects reach out, with our relationships becoming more satisfying, we feel more confident, anxiety levels decrease, physical health improves, and so it goes, awesomeness eventually prevails! Something that sits right alongside of all this, yet is often overlooked, is the idea that positive thought, whilst being really important, is probably not quite enough on its own. What is also required is positive language. By being sure to monitor for less negativity and introducing more positive language in to our conversations with others, we are not only likely to feel more positive within ourselves, but we will also sound more confident in our interactions with those people we are speaking with at the time. And confident people are generally seen, amongst other things, as being more attractive and more interesting. Awesome even?! None of this is new of course. It was first brought to our attention many years ago by Maria Montesorri, back in the 1920's. She was way ahead of her time, in terms of her focus on the importance of the place of positivity in children's education. Let's unpack this some more. If someone asks you what kind of a day you have had, and you answer along the lines that "It wasn't bad," even though you may have enjoyed yourself, you are conveying something about yourself (and not your day) with the use of a negative word like 'bad.' But if you answer the same question with a response along the lines of "my day was really good- thanks for asking," you are actually saying something significantly different. Even if the day in question was fairly average, by still describing it as good, you will then actually begin to feel that well, yes, it was actually an OK day after all. As a result, because ''good'' is generally a positive word, you feel more positive, because you used the word. Then the person who asked feels good too, because they got a positive response from you, plus (importantly) you thanked them for asking. By doing this, you re-enforced someone else's behavior, even if in a very minor way. This in turn will enhance your own feelings of positivity (sure- maybe just a little bit, but hey, every little bit helps- it's that old snowball metaphor again, that I'm sure you've heard about before), and the person that you thanked also goes away feeling ever so slightly more awesome.... . Now I know, this probably all sounds a bit convoluted- but the bottom line is, it works. If you don't believe me, give it a whirl- and watch your own levels of awesomeness increase. |
"Some occasional thoughts about families, relationships, and other things that distract us...."
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